She-cats in Black: The Ebonyclaw and Vixenpaw Show!
by Ember the Exalted
Summary: When Ebonyclaw of Skyclan is asked to Kit-sit Vixenpaw of Riverclan she hates the idea. Besides, she has a show that night! When she decides the Vixenpaw will be her new co-host, what chaos will ensue?


**Host: Ebonyclaw of Skyclan**

**Co-Host: Vixenpaw of Riverclan**

**Assistant: Nutwhisker of Shadowclan**

**Wrestler: Doespring of Windclan**

_**Apprentice:**_** Grasspaw**** of Riverclan**

**Camera Cat: Rosepetal of Thunderclan**

* * *

><p><strong>The Morning Before...<strong>

"Beetlenose! Why do I have to Kit-sit Vixenpaw?! I've got a gig tonight! Isn't she old enough to be in camp alone? I can only handle one apprentice at a time! Fine. I'll Kit-sit her IF you get someone else to Kit-sit Grasspaw? Ok? Ok. Bye!"

Ebonyclaw sighed. Today was her opening night! How was she going to Kit-sit Vixenpaw AND do her gig.

There was only one thing to do...

"Nutwhisker. Coffee me."

* * *

><p>Ebonyclaw strode on stage in full view of the camera in a stunning black dress, followed by Vixenpaw, who was wearing a less formal Orange dress.<p>

"Hello she-cats and toms!" Ebonyclaw purred, picking up the microphone. Almost every tom in the audience fainted, except for Jayfeather, who couldn't see Ebonyclaw.

Vixenpaw tossed a grenade into the air, which exploded over the audiences heads with a loud BOOM

That woke up the toms.

"Next time, I'll throw it right into the audience!" Vixenpaw purred, winking.

There was a moment of horrified silence.

"OK THEN!" Ebonyclaw purred, flashing 'The Look' at her new co-host. Vixenpaw sighed.

"Today we're going to interview...Ivypool, Firestar and Tigerstar!"

The crowd cheered

Ivypool in a pretty white gown strode on stage, while Firestar and Tigerstar wore neat tuxes.

"Tigerstar's got pretty nice battle armour" Vixenpaw murmered, whistling.

"Now, we're going to ask you questions about your life! We'll both score you on how much we appreciate your answer! Your future! Your dreams! Your-" Ebonyclaw rambled before Vixenpaw snatched the microphone

"And if you don't answer...YOU WILL HAVE TO WRESTLE DOESPRING!" Vixenpaw cackled

Firestar glanced at Ivypool, who shrugged. He looked at Tigerstar. He looked utterly terrified.

"First Question!" Ebonyclaw growled, snatching back the microphone from Vixenpaw.

"Firestar. What is the thing you most want in the world?"

"World Peace" Firestar mewed. A roar of applause erupted from the audience, who began showering him with roses, Kitkats (**I don't own Kitkats. Or Warriors for that matter...) **and mice.

"TEN out of TEN" Ebonyclaw squealed "TEN OUT OF TEEEEN"

Vixenpaw shrugged "Meh. To sappy. Five out Ten"

Firestar grumbled and sat back down.

"Alright! Tigerstar! Who do you love more...Goldenflower or Sasha?"

a chorus of "Oooooh" rose from the crowd

"I refuse to answer that question"

Ebonyclaw gasped while Vixenpaw slowly and dramatically pulled a whistle from her dress. She put it to her lips and blew. Swiftly, a lithe, pale brown shape bounded towards them.

"What is your wish o' Ebonyclaw?" Doespring mewed, bowing

"Attack. Tigerstar. Go" Ebonyclaw growled. Suddenly, with uncatly speed, Doespring lunged at Tigerstar, claws outstretched.

**10 minutes later... **

After Milkfur's Milky Medicine Cats arrived and took Tigerstar away, it was time for the final question.

"Ivypool. This is the final question. Do you want an apprentice?"

"Yes."

"RIGHT ANSWER!' Vixenpaw yowled "TEN OUTTA TEN!"

Ebonyclaw sighed "Seven out of Ten. Frecklewish...SHE BETRAYED MEEE!" Ebonyclaw burst into tears.

Vixenpaw snatched the microphone from the sobbing Ebonyclaw

"Well...The winner of today is Ivypool! Congrats! Your prize is...a large squirrel! YAY!"

The audience cheered, but it was muffled by Ebonyclaw's wild sobs.

"Bon Voyage!" Vixenpaw called before Rosepetal turned the camera off.

* * *

><p><strong>What do you think? Good? Well, R&amp;R and give me more cats! <strong>

**Note: Yes, all cats in this ARE and WILL be actual characters. Please, no OCs**


End file.
